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When Things Fall Apart

Newly minted homicide detective Kit Hanover is paired with a crusty veteran who makes no bones about his feelings for Native Americans. Their prickly partnership becomes more antagonistic when her first murder case proves devastating and she is reassigned. Determined to work the case in her own time despite the emotional consequences she finds herself and her family the target of an unknown madman. She withstands the inexplicable attacks as she continues her investigation until she finds herself face to face with the murderer. Only one of them can survive.

Boy in the Barn: Journey of Triumph Over Horrific Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and PTSD

John grew up in an incredibly narcissistic, dysfunctional family on a farm in southeastern North Carolina during the repressive 1960s. This was the model family to the broader community; his parents were considered pillars of society. Yet, this family held many deep, dark secrets governed by family honor, vanity, and pride. The parents’ standing in the community was paramount to everything else. No one, no family member, circumstance, event, or situation, was to shame and embarrass them and get in the way of how they ranked and viewed themselves. This way of life was ripe for something more insidious. In a calculated and controlled manner, John was sexually abused and groomed to becom...

Love Changed Everything

 The Bridges (Briggs) family struggled to escape poverty because of Albert’s ill health. The children were happy until they realised they were deprived of the pleasures their friends enjoyed. But love surrounded and encouraged them every day of their childhood lives. Their days were filled with good times and adventures.Eddie (the author), the eldest child of four, suffered at the hands of the bullies. But his father showed him how to stand up for himself. Albert taught his children that success could come even after multiple failures if they kept trying. But when he had a lung removed, he lost his job and their home. The family moved in with Grandma in her terraced house in the Colli...

The Far Side of Silence

When Air Force One is shot down over the Mediterranean Sea with no survivors, Ex-Seal Alexander Gray is tasked with an impossible assignment.The new president secretly orders the U.S. Navy to prepare the Sigonella Naval Air Station on Sicily for a clandestine and experimental operation to save the life of the Russian president, the man most Americans believe responsible for the downing of Air Force One. Antagonistic forces within the U.S. and Russian governments are determined to prevent that operation from taking place. From the U.S. to Sigonella, Gray must evade and outwit those working against the president.Will Gray survive to bring the traitors to justice and execute the daring operatio...

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FREEZE FRAME

$1.99

What KIM thought would make a stunning wedding video affirms a cold-blooded, unseen murder. It’s not until he studies the footage on his editing console that within the murk of revelers dancing at the party is the flash of a bowie knife.Rewind to how it all begins.Before The Wall Street Crash of 2008, Kim’s parents had been complacent in their earnings as investors in the Stock Market. Its aftermath leaves ELLA and JOE in a state of panic and depression.Kim is twenty, lives with them in Brooklyn, and has a heart-bending crush on tall, willowy NOVA, who lives across the street. She’s seventeen. Her new boyfriend is ZANE, twenty-four. Zane owes money to a dangerous loan shark, MALANGA,(2...

ROUXGAROUX

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ROUXGAROUX
Aroooo-aroooo-aroooo!
Foot and Hutch encounter the mythical, legendary Rouxgaroux of Louisiana in southern Arkansas.
Are the Rouxgaroux responsible for the multiple vicious murders occurring in the area? Why is it only oil company employees?
What do the Voodoo Witches of Cajun country have to do with it?
Can Foot and Hutch, along with Medal of Honor recipient Tom Rayford, solve the mystery before it's too late?
Are they in danger?
Find out in ROUXGAROUX, book #11 of the Award-Winning Southern Noir Mystery series, THREE CREEKS Mysteries by Ken Farmer.

Mass Awakening

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An Expose on Dark Agendas and How People Are Fighting BackThe Truth has been hidden from us while a global policy of mass depopulation and exploitation has been carried out behind the scenes for the past half-century. The author, an independent journalist, became aware of this agenda only in the past few years. She found it hard to believe, but in-depth research and the testimony of whistleblowers worldwide have exposed these strategies. They include geoengineering (chemtrails), fluoridation of water supplies, GMOs, vaccinations, false flag terrorist attacks, and economic warfare by the group David Wilcock calls the Cabal. However, despite this grim reality, a positive shift of mass awakenin...

Distorted Days

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A heart warming story where friendship, hope and the joy of reading comes together. Perfect for book lovers everywhere and fans of Kate Storey, Gillian Harvey and Cary J Hansson.Some stories stay with us forever…Funny and sad, this one will.If she could speak to them, she would say they have exploded her heart, released firecrackers through her senses. She wishes she could call the police, the ambulance, the fire brigade, to arrest and anaesthetise and waterboard the bastards.So what happens when your husband runs off with your best friend? When you discover the dead body of an old man halfway through your delivery round? When your house is burgled and you get beaten up? Doris, Andy and Co...

Corsair and the Sky Pirates

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What if Jules Verne and Nikola Tesla met? What fantastic steampunk world emerged? The legends of history collide in the skies over Europe, Africa, and America as Corsair and his band of sky pirates attempt to thwart Thomas Edison’s corporate domination and prevent a world war.

Dana deserves a playground too

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I couldn't imagine that this would happen...
One day, I came across a story on Facebook about a woman
who met a father and daughter at the playground.
Due to a disability, the girl was confined to a wheelchair
and unable to enjoy any of the playground facilities.
All she could do was...
Put her doll in the swing and pushed it,
which caused great sorrow for her and her father.
This story gave me a lot of inspiration to write this book.
In many cases, children with special needs can't do what "regular" children do-
Their needs were forgotten, and that is exactly the story of Dana.
If your child is 4-7 years old, you can all enjoy this book, you will not regret if you will buy it.

32 Jobs & No Gold Watch

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Embark on an extraordinary tale of 32 jobs, three marriages, and a lifetime of laugh out loud, yet invaluable experiences… In 32 Jobs & No Gold Watch, Christine takes readers on a candid and captivating journey through her life, offering an honest, heartwarming, sometimes heartbreaking, and often humorous memoir. The story begins with her as a 16-year-old girl, grappling with personal issues and embarking on an unusual and diverse work life, which eventually leads her to accumulate an impressive 32 jobs over the years. Now, facing retirement, Christine seeks answers to the question of why she navigated through such a myriad of job experiences. Was it influenced by her difficu...

ALL THE WRONG ROADS

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Two years ago my doctors said I would be lucky to live another 3 months, all due to 50 years of Cocaine and Meth addiction. So I decided to grow up, clean up, and write a book about how I had wasted a lifetime in what now seems like the blink of an eye. and how I turned it all around.

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The Chase Money Glitch: A Cautionary Tale by Oscar J. Starr III

The Chase Money Glitch: A Cautionary Tale

By Oscar J. Starr III

In recent weeks, a viral trend has swept across social media platforms, enticing individuals with the promise of easy money through what has been dubbed the “Chase Money Glitch.” This so-called glitch has led to a frenzy of activity, with users attempting to exploit a perceived flaw in Chase Bank’s ATM and check deposit systems. However, what many believed to be a harmless loophole has quickly revealed itself to be a dangerous and illegal scheme.

The “Chase Money Glitch” gained traction on platforms like TikTok and X (formerly Twitter), where users shared videos and posts claiming that by depositing fake checks and withdrawing funds before the checks bounced, they could access seemingly unlimited cash. The allure of quick riches led to long lines at Chase branches and a surge in fraudulent activity.

Chase Bank has been quick to respond, issuing warnings to customers and clarifying that this so-called glitch is, in fact, a form of check fraud. Depositing a fraudulent check and withdrawing the funds before the check clears is illegal, and those who participate in this scheme are committing a crime. The bank has taken swift action, blocking accounts involved in suspicious activity and referring cases to law enforcement authorities.

The repercussions for those who attempted to exploit the “Chase Money Glitch” have been severe. Many individuals have found themselves facing negative balances, account holds, and potential legal consequences. In some cases, participants have been arrested and charged with fraud3. The viral trend has served as a stark reminder of the dangers of engaging in fraudulent activities, even when they appear to be harmless online challenges.

As an author and advocate for ethical behavior, I urge everyone to exercise caution and critical thinking when encountering such trends. The allure of easy money can be tempting, but the consequences of engaging in illegal activities far outweigh any short-term gains. It is essential to remember that financial institutions have robust systems in place to detect and prevent fraud, and attempting to cheat the system will ultimately lead to serious repercussions.

In conclusion, the “Chase Money Glitch” serves as a cautionary tale about the risks of participating in fraudulent schemes. Let us use this incident as an opportunity to educate ourselves and others about the importance of ethical behavior and the potential consequences of illegal actions. By doing so, we can foster a more responsible and informed community, both online and offline.


Oscar J. Starr III is an author and entrepreneur known for his insightful perspectives on contemporary issues. His works include “The GameChanger Perspective” and “Breaking the Silence: Confronting Betrayal in Friendships.” For more information, visit his website at Oscar J. Starr III Published Author.

1: NBC News 2: NBC News 3: Fox Business

The Empowering Journey of Self-Publishing: A Guide by Oscar J. Starr III

The Empowering Journey of Self-Publishing: A Guide by Oscar J. Starr III

In the ever-evolving landscape of literature, self-publishing has emerged as a powerful tool for authors to share their stories with the world. As an author who has successfully navigated this path, I, Oscar J. Starr III, am excited to share my insights and experiences to help aspiring writers embark on their own self-publishing journey.

The Decision to Self-Publish

Choosing to self-publish is a significant decision that requires careful consideration. For me, the primary motivation was the creative freedom it offered. Traditional publishing often comes with constraints that can limit an author’s vision. Self-publishing, on the other hand, allows you to retain complete control over your work, from the content to the cover design.

The Process of Self-Publishing

Writing and Editing: The first step is, of course, writing your manuscript. Once the initial draft is complete, it’s crucial to invest time in thorough editing. This may involve multiple rounds of revisions and feedback from beta readers or professional editors.

Formatting and Design: The next step is formatting your manuscript for publication. This includes setting up the layout for both print and digital versions. Additionally, a compelling cover design is essential to attract readers. Consider hiring a professional designer to create a cover that reflects the essence of your book.

Publishing Platforms: There are several platforms available for self-publishing, such as Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP), IngramSpark, and Smashwords. Each platform has its own set of guidelines and benefits, so it’s important to research and choose the one that best suits your needs.

Marketing and Promotion: Once your book is published, the real work begins. Marketing and promotion are critical to reaching your target audience. Utilize social media, book blogs, and author websites to create buzz around your book. Engaging with readers through book signings, virtual events, and online communities can also help build a loyal readership.

The Challenges and Rewards

Self-publishing is not without its challenges. It requires a significant investment of time, effort, and resources. However, the rewards are equally significant. The sense of accomplishment that comes from seeing your book in the hands of readers is unparalleled. Moreover, self-publishing allows you to build a direct connection with your audience, fostering a sense of community and engagement.

Final Thoughts

Self-publishing is a journey of empowerment and creativity. It offers authors the opportunity to bring their unique voices to the forefront and share their stories with the world. As someone who has walked this path, I encourage aspiring writers to embrace the challenges and rewards of self-publishing. With determination and perseverance, you can achieve your literary dreams.

Building An Author Platform: The Journey of Oscar J. Starr III

Building an Author Platform: The Journey of Oscar J. Starr III

In the ever-evolving world of literature, establishing a strong author platform is essential for connecting with readers and making a lasting impact. Oscar J. Starr III, a renowned author, speaker, and podcast host, has successfully built a multifaceted platform that resonates with a diverse audience. Let’s explore the key elements that contribute to his thriving author platform.

1. Literary Works

Oscar J. Starr III is celebrated for his profound insights and captivating storytelling. His books, such as “The GameChanger Perspective” and “Broken Relationships: Encountering Financial Abuse in Marriage,” delve deep into complex issues, offering readers a blend of wisdom, empathy, and practical advice1. His literary works are proudly catalogued at the Kalamazoo Public Library, showcasing his commitment to sharing valuable knowledge with the world.

2. Engaging Podcast

In addition to his writing, Oscar hosts “The GameChanger Perspective” podcast, where he delves into transformative ideas and interviews thought leaders from various fields. This platform allows him to engage with a diverse audience, sharing insights on entrepreneurship, writing, and innovation. The podcast has garnered a loyal following, further cementing his status as a thought leader.

3. Public Speaking

Oscar’s expertise extends beyond writing and podcasting. He is a sought-after speaker, having graced stages at events such as the 1Million Cups Chapter in Dallas, TX. His engaging talks and thought-provoking discussions have made him a favorite among audiences, inspiring many to pursue their own dreams and aspirations.

4. Innovative Entrepreneurship

Beyond his literary achievements, Oscar is also a trailblazer in the world of entrepreneurship. As the creator of CoolGuard iPhone cooling cases, he has revolutionized the tech accessory industry with innovative solutions that enhance everyday life. His dedication to creating products that improve user experience is evident in every venture he undertakes.

5. Active Online Presence

Oscar maintains a strong online presence, connecting with fans and followers through his Instagram page (@professionalentrepreneur44) and YouTube channel. Whether you’re looking for inspiration, advice, or simply a glimpse into the mind of a creative genius, Oscar’s platforms offer a wealth of content to explore.

Conclusion

Oscar J. Starr III’s author platform is a testament to his dedication to storytelling, innovation, and personal growth. By seamlessly blending his talents as an author, entrepreneur, and podcast host, he continues to inspire and uplift those who encounter his work. Keep an eye on this remarkable individual as he continues to break new ground and shape the future of literature, technology, and media.

1: Oscar J. Starr III - Published Author 2: BookBlastBoost - Elevate Your Books with Expert Promotion

The Demons of War are Persistent [Prolonged denial of PTSD]

 

“The Demons of War are Persistent”

A Personal Story of Prolonged PTSD

—A.W. Schade, USMC 1965/69
 

      Fifty years have passed since my deployment as a combat Marine to Vietnam. However, only several years since I acknowledged my inability to continue suppressing the demons alone. Like many veterans, the “Demons” have haunted me through nightmares, altered personas, and hidden fears.

     Even as many veterans manage the demons’ onslaught successfully, millions survive in destitution, needless solitude and social disconnection. Scores consider themselves cowards, should they concede to the demons’ hold. Countless live in denial and loneliness, protecting their warrior’s pride. The most vulnerable— tormented by guilt and feeling forever alone — too often choose to “end” their lives.      

 


 

As friends and family gather to celebrate another joyful holiday, I am often disheartened, reminded by vivid memories of lost friendships and battlefield carnage that erratically seeps from a vulnerable partition of my mind. The cerebral hiding place I concocted, decades before, as a mechanism to survive in society. I unwittingly clutch at a profound loneliness as I avoid searching for memories of my youthful years. If I dare to gaze into my past, I must transcend a cloak of darkness weaved to restrain the demons from so many years before.

My pledge to God, Country, and Marine Corps was more than forty years ago. As a young, unproven warrior, I consented to the ancient rules of war. At eighteen, like many others, I was immersed in the ageless stench of death and carnage, in the mountains and jungles of Vietnam. However, my journey began much earlier, on a sixty-mile bus ride with other nervous teenagers, to New York City’s legendary Induction Center at 39 White Hall Street.

We went through lines of examinations and stood around for hours, recognizing one another’s bare asses before we could learn each other’s names. We did not realize so many of us would remain together in squads and fire teams, building deep-seeded bonds of friendships along our journey. Our initial ‘shock’ indoctrination began immediately at Parris Island; intimidating Drill Instructors scrambled our disoriented butts off the bus, organized us into a semblance of a formation, and herded us to the barracks for a night of hell! 

Anxiety, second-guessing our decision to join, and apprehension was our welcoming. Following what we thought would be sleep (but was actually a nap), we awoke in awe to explosive clamor, as the DIs banged on tin garbage can lids next to our bunks, yelling ‘get up you maggots.’ Even the largest recruits trembled.

We remained maggots for the next few weeks and began intense physical and mental training, slowly recognizing the importance of “the team” instead of “the individual.” In less than sixteen weeks we were proud United States Marines. It was a short celebration though, as we loaded our gear and headed, in order, to Camp Lejeune, Camp Pendleton, Okinawa and then the Philippines, where we continued to enhance our stealth and killing skills, before executing these talents on the already blood-soaked fields of Vietnam.

We argued and fought amongst ourselves as brothers often do. Still, we never lost sight of the bonds we shared: We were United States Marines with an indisputable commitment to “always cover each other’s back.” Crammed into the bowels of Navy Carrier Ships, we slept in hammocks with no more than three inches from your brother’s butt above you. The sailors laughed as these self-proclaimed “bad-ass Marines” transformed into the wimpy “Helmet Brigade.” We vomited into our skull buckets for days on our way to Okinawa, where we would engage in counter guerrilla warfare training. Aware that we were going to Vietnam, we partied hard in every port. The first of our battles were slug fests in distant bar-room brawls.

Conversely, our minds were opened to the poverty and living conditions of these famous islands in the Pacific. Their reputations preceded them, but stories about war with Japan—John Wayne movies—were not what we found. Instead, we found overpopulated, dirty cities; we were barraged constantly by poor children seeking any morsel of food. In the fields, families lived in thatched huts with no electricity or sanitary conditions. While training I experienced the horror of being chased by a two-ton water buffalo (with only blanks in my rifle). Moments before, this same beast was led around by a ring through its nose by a ten-year old boy. Worse than the chasing was hearing the laughter of brother Marines watching me run at full speed, trying to find something to climb.  In a tree, I felt as though I was losing the “macho” in Marine, and we were still thousands of miles from Vietnam.

In confidence, we spoke as brothers about our fears, hardships growing-up, family, girlfriends, times of humiliation, prejudice, and what we planned to do in our lifetime once our tour of duty in Vietnam was over. We knew each other’s thoughts and spoke as though we would all return home alive, never considering the thought of death or defeat. We had not learned that lesson, yet. Moreover, we dreamed of going home as respected American warriors who defended democracy in a remote foreign land, standing proud, feeling a sense of accomplishment, and experiencing life, as none of our friends at home would understand. Our country had called and we answered.

We transferred to a converted WWII aircraft carrier that carried helicopters and Marines instead of jet planes. We were to traverse the coast of Vietnam and deploy by helicopter into combat zones from the Demilitarized Zone, the imaginary line separating North and South Vietnam, to the provinces and cities of Chu Lai and Da Nang. Then further south, to the outer fringes of Vietnam’s largest city, which was, at that time, Saigon.

Within sight of land, we heard the roar of artillery, mortars and the familiar crackling of small-arms fire. These were sounds we were accustomed to because of months of preparing ourselves for battle. However, for the first time, we understood the sounds were not from playing war games. Someone was likely dead. Anxiety, adrenaline highs, and fear of the unknown swirled within my mind. 

Was I prepared? Could I kill another man? Would another man kill me? From that point forward, death was part of my life. We would eventually load into helicopters, descending into confrontations ambivalent, yet assured we were young, invincible warriors. We were convinced the South Vietnamese people needed us; many of them did. Thus, our mission was simple: save the innocent and banish the enemy to Hell!

The first time we touched down on Vietnam soil, we mechanically spread out in combat formation. Immediately, everything I was taught to watch out for rushed through my mind: “Was the enemy around us?” “Was I standing near an enemy grenade trap, or stepping toward a punji pit filled with sharpened bamboo spikes?” Seeing our company walking through the low brush gave me comfort, until an unexpected explosion deafened our senses. We immediately hit the ground and went into combat mode, establishing our zones of fire. There was nothing to think about except engaging the enemy. We were ready for battle.

We waited, but heard no gunfire or rockets exploding, only a few Marines speaking several hundred feet away. One yelled, “I can’t F’N” believe it!” We learned our first meeting with death was due to one of our brother’s grenade pins not being secured; we assumed it was pulled out by the underbrush. Regardless, he was dead. Staring at his lifeless body, I felt the loss of youthful innocence gush away.

One engagement began with us being plunged into chaos from helicopters hovering a few feet off the ground. We anxiously leapt—some fell—into the midst of an already heated battle. The enemy sprung a deadly assault upon us. I became engrossed in the shock, fear, and adrenaline rush of battle. It was surreal! It was also not the time to ponder the killing of another human being, recall the rationale behind the ethics of war, or become absorbed in the horror of men slaughtering each other. Thoughts of war’s demons certainly were not on my mind.

When the killing ceased and the enemy withdrew, I remained motionless, exhausted from the fighting. With only a moment to think about what had just occurred, the shock, hate, and anger were buried under the gratitude of being alive. I had to find out which brothers did or did not survive, and as I turned to view the combat zone, I witnessed the reality of war: dreams, friendships, and future plans vanished. We knelt beside our brothers, some dead, many wounded, and others screaming in pain. A few lay there dying silently.

As I moved about the carnage, I noticed a lifeless body, face down, and twisted abnormally in jungle debris. I pulled him gently from the tangled lair, unaware of the warrior I had found. Masked in blood and shattered bones, I was overwhelmed with disgust and a primal obsession for revenge as I realized the warrior was my mentor, hero, and friend.

My voice fragmented, I spoke at him as if he were alive: “Gunny, you can’t be dead! Son-of-a-bitch, you fought in WWII and Korea, how can you die in this God for-shaken country! Get up Marine!” Tears seeped down my face; I whispered that he would not be forgotten. I placed him gently in a body bag, slowly pulling the zipper closed over his face, engulfing him in darkness.

Navy Corpsmen—our extraordinary brothers—worked frantically to salvage traumatized bodies. We did our best to ease the pain of the wounded as they prayed to God Almighty. “With all my heart I love you, man,” I told each friend I encountered. However, some never heard the words I said, unless they were listening from Heaven. I was unaware of the survivor’s guilt brewing deep inside me. 

In two or three weeks our mission was completed; we flew by helicopter from the jungle to the safety of the ship. None of us rested, instead remembering faces and staring at the empty bunks of the friends who were not there. I prayed for the sun to rise slowly, in order to delay the forthcoming ceremony for the dead.

Early the next morning, we stood in a military formation on the aircraft carrier’s deck. I temporarily suppressed my emotions as I stared upon the dead. Rows of military caskets, identical in design, with an American flag meticulously draped over the top, made it impossible to distinguish which crates encased my closest friends. As taps played, tears descended. For the first time I understood, that in war, you never have a chance to say goodbye. I pledged silently to each of my friends that they would never be forgotten: A solemn promise I regretfully only kept through years of nightmares or hallucinations.

Combat is vicious; rest is brief; destroying the enemy was our mission. We fought our skillful foes in many battles, until they or we were dead, wounded, or overwhelmed. Engaging enemy troops was horrific in both jungles and villages. We had to either accept or build psychological boundaries around the terror.

Nonexistent were the lines of demarcation; we constantly struggled to identify which Vietnamese was a friend and which was a foe. The tormenting acknowledgement that a woman or child might be an enemy combatant had to be confronted; it was often an overwhelming decision to make.

Iwas not aware of the change in my demeanor. In time, I merely assumed I had adjusted emotionally to contend with the atrocities and finality of war. I acquired stamina, could endure the stench of death, eliminate enemy combatants with little or no remorse, suppress memories of fallen companions, and avoid forming new, deep-rooted friendships. I struggled to accept the feasibility of a loving Lord. I never detected the nameless demons embedding themselves inside of me.

At the end of my tour, I packed minimal gear and left the jungle battlefields of Vietnam for America, never turning to bid farewell or ever wanting to smell the pungent stench of death and fear again. Within seventy-two hours, I was on the street I left fourteen months prior, a street untouched by war, poverty, genocide, hunger, or fear. 

I was home. I was alone. Aged well beyond my chronological years of nine-teen, I was psychologically and emotionally confused. I was expected to transform from a slayer back into a (so-called) civilized man.

Except for family members and several high-school friends, returning home from Vietnam was demeaning for most of us. There were no bands or cheers of appreciation or feelings of accomplishment. Instead, we were shunned and ridiculed for fighting in a war that our government assured us was crucial and for an honorable cause. I soon found that family, friends, and co-workers could never truly understand the events that transformed me in those fourteen months.

I changed from a teenage boy to a battle hardened man. I was not able to engage in trivial conversations or take part in the adolescent games many of my friends still played. For them, life did not change and “struggle” was a job or the “unbearable” pressure of college they had to endure. It did not take me long to realize that they would never understand; there is no comparison between homework and carrying a dead companion in a black zipped bag.

The media played their biased games by criticizing the military, never illuminating the thousands of Vietnamese saved from mass execution, rape, torture, or other atrocities of a brutal northern regime. They never showed the stories of American “heroes” who gave their lives, bodies, and minds to save innocent people caught in the clutches of a “controversial” war. For years, my transition back to society was uncertain. I struggled against unknown demons and perplexing social fears. I abandoned searching for surviving comrades or ever engaging in conversations of Vietnam.

Worse, I fought alone to manage the recurring nightmares, which I tried to block away in a chamber of my mind labeled; “Do not open, horrors, chaos and lost friends from Vietnam.” However, suppressing dark memories is almost impossible. Random sounds, smells, or even words unleash nightmares, depression, anxiety and the seepage's of bitterness I alluded to before. I still fight to keep these emotions locked away inside me.

Today, my youth has long since passed and middle age is drifting progressively behind me. Still, unwelcome metaphors and echoes of lost souls seep through the decomposing barriers fabricated in my mind. Vivid memories of old friends, death, guilt, and anger sporadically persevere. There may be no end, resolution, or limitations to the demons’ voices. They began as whispers and intensified—over decades—in my mind. 

“Help me buddy!” I still hear them scream, as nightmares jolt me from my slumber. I wake and shout, “I’m here! I’m here my friend,” and envision their ghostly, blood-soaked bodies. I often wonder if more Marines would be alive if I had fought more fiercely. “I had to kill!” I remind myself; as visions of shattered friends, and foes hauntingly reappear at inappropriate times.

Guilt consumes my consciousness as I recall the mayhem of war, and what we had to do to survive. As well I question: Why did I survive and not them? Most horrible, however, is the conflicting torment I feel when I acknowledge that I am thankful it was others instead of me.

Regardless of which war a person fought, I am sure many of their memories are similar to mine, as many of mine are to theirs. I never recognized the persistence of the demons, nor realized how quickly they matured deep within my soul. Disguised and deep-rooted, the demons cause anxiety, loneliness, depression, alcohol abuse, nightmares, and suicidal thoughts; traits that haunt many warriors for a lifetime. For thirty-five years, I would not admit these demons were inside me, and believed seeking medical assistance for what was going on in my mind, was a weakness in a man.

It was not until the first Gulf War began in 1990, that I sensed the demons were again bursting from within. No matter how hard I tried to avoid them, I could not escape the vivid images and news coverage of every aspect of the war. Eventually, the bodies and faces in the media were not strangers anymore; they were the faces of my brothers from a much older and forgotten war. Encouraged by peers and several family members, I finally sought assistance from VA doctors, who immediately diagnosed me with PTSD and began an ongoing treatment program.

During my third or fourth group therapy session at the VA, the psychiatrist leading the meeting persuaded me to speak about myself, starting with my overall thoughts of my tour in Vietnam, but then focusing on what I accomplished instead of what I lost.  After a long hesitation, I told them the greatest accomplishment in Vietnam was the hundreds of people our teams personally saved from rape, torture, or savage death.                          

We did not give a damn about the politicians and college students arguing back home, or running off to Canada to avoid the draft. We were enlisted Marines, on the front lines, protecting innocent people caught up in a horrific war.  

My most positive moment, I continued, was when I lifted a three-year-old girl from the rubble that separated her from her parents, who were slaughtered by the Viet Cong for giving us rice the day before. Though traumatized and trembling in fear, she reached up to me, and I cradled her gently in my arms and made her smile for only a moment. I handed her to one of our extraordinary corpsman, and continued to seek out the enemy who committed these atrocious murders. It was then I understood why I was in Vietnam.  

However, as with everything I masked in my subconscious, I obscured that moment of compassion for decades until this small therapy group encouraged me to glance back and look for positive events buried within the worst of my war memories.

Regarding my post-war years, the doctor asked me to focus on my career, an area where he knew I had some success. I explained that when I left the Marines after four years, I was youthful and confident in myself. I had no clue what depression and anxiety were, and I thought the nightmares were personal and temporary. I was determined to look forward, and in no way backwards to the war. Unfortunately, today I realize that while constantly looking forward helped me avoid chaotic memories of war, it also cloaked the memories of my formative younger years, and positive events throughout my life.

I never relished talking about myself, and thought it would be a good time to stop. However, the group asked me to continue. As peers, they knew I needed to feel a purpose, and not think my life was a second-rate existence. I was reluctant; as I looked around the room and knew many of the Vets succumbed to PTSD early in life and did not fare as well as I did. I felt I was about to sound like a wimp, or worse, a self-centered ass.

Awkwardly, I began to tell them - with many gaps - about my career after Vietnam. My first recollection was one they all understood. I went through eleven or twelve jobs feeling totally out of place. Watching sales managers gather their teams, and with fanatical enthusiasm tell us how great we were, and together we would attain the highest sales revenue, whipping all other regions. To me, compared to combat in the jungles of Vietnam, this was a game.

Feeling extremely frustrated within the environment of civilian life, I was ready to head back to the military. However, before reenlistment happened, I got married to my current wife of 40 plus years, who will be the first to tell you living with a type-A personality with PTSD is often a living hell, especially since she had no idea what I was battling. But, neither did I. Like millions of warriors before me, I never spoke to anyone about the war, or the nightmares that abruptly woke me, soaked in sweat and tears.

I decided not to reenlist and pursued a career in business. After numerous jobs, I finally landed a position with a bank repossessing cars - a small-scale adrenaline rush, at times. Within five years, I worked my way up to branch manager.   

Bored, of my repetitive tasks in banking, I accepted an offer from a very large computer company to join as a collection administrator. Though it seemed as if it was starting over, I was promoted into management within a year.  Focusing on new business challenges aided me in keeping the demons at bay. Subsequent promotions followed.

Within roughly eight years, I was selected to attend Syracuse University to attain a degree in Management - paid by the company at full salary.  I continued to accept challenging positions in finance, marketing, business development, sales and world travel. 

At first, traveling to other countries was great, but after the second or third twenty-one-hour flight to Bangkok or Singapore, it got old quick. I began to realize boredom and repetition were major catalysts for my emotional setbacks; having too much time to think was a recipe for falling hard into the bowels of PTSD. 

As years passed, anger, frustrations, mood swings, and depression were common events affecting me, my family and career. I stopped moving forward, and spent more time battling the memories of the past. It was at that time I understood the demons never leave; they simply wait for a sliver of weakness to overwhelm you. 

Consequently, these conditions, as well as heightened road-rage, quick to anger, and sometimes not able to carry on an articulate conversation, I enthusiastically retired early from my very well-paying job.  This, of course, decreased my income significantly, and opened new crevices in my rapidly deteriorating armor. The demons seized a stronghold; they are persistent.

I have still not won the battle against the demons, but, with the help of therapy, outside physical activities, medications and writing; I look ahead again. The demons continue to haunt me with nightmares, depression, memory loss, anxiety and the need for solitude. 

Although I am not able to sit down with a vet and talk about war, I have taken on a cause through writing stories, to reach out to young and senior veterans to help break the stigma of PTSD, by seeking reinforcement. It took me, with present-day support from younger vets at the Journal of Military Experience [http://militaryexperience.org], over the course of six years to finalize this story. I mention this so others can move forward in his or her life; by knowing what I and others know now.

I wish someone cited the following recommendations to me earlier in my life; although being young and macho I probably would not have listened.  However, here are a few suggestions from one old warrior, to those of all ages:

Break through the stigma of PTSD and get medical assistance - PTSD is real!

Unless you are in a high-risk job, you will probably not experience the adrenaline rush and finality of your decisions as you did in combat. For me, I lived by playing business games - never finding the ultimate adrenaline rush again. It is a void within me, I think about often.

The longer you wait for treatment, the harder it will be to handle the demons. They do not go away and can lay dormant in your soul for decades.

Understand that it is never too late in your life to begin looking forward and achieving new objectives.

If you do not want to speak about PTSD with your family or friends, then hand them a brochure from the VA that explains what to look for, and why you need their support. You do not have to go into detail about the tragedies of war, but without your loved ones’ understanding of your internal battle, your thoughts can lead to divorce, loss of family relationship, or suicide – a terrible waste of a hero.

Silence and solitude is not the answer! If you have PTSD you may not be able to beat it alone.

If you are concerned about your military or civilian job, seek help from peer resources. They have experienced what you have been through, and will help keep you living in the present, instead of the past.

Or contact a person in a peer support group anonymously. They will not know you, but will talk for as long as you wish.

You cannot explain the horrors of war to someone that has not experienced it, except maybe a PTSD psychologist.  

Get up off your ass and take a serious look into yourself! Accept the fact that if you have continuous nightmares, flashbacks, depression, bursts of anger, anxiety, or thoughts of suicide, you have PTSD. If so, talk to someone who can help.

There is also financial assistance through the VA, which may help you avoid living a life of destitution.

Finally, let your ego and macho image go. There are many individuals and groups today wanting to help you. If you do not seek help, you may find yourself alone and bitter for a lifetime. The demons are not going away, but with help, you can learn to fight them and win one battle at a time.  Please contact the resources below!

Semper Fi!
 

[AW Schade; a Marine, Vietnam 1966/67, retired corporate executive and author of the award-winning book; Looking for God within the Kingdom of Religious Confusion - A captivating, comparative, and enlightening tale that seeks to comprehend the doctrines and discord between and within Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and Secularism. What the seeker discovers, transforms his life forever! In addition, free on his website, awschade.com, are two other stories; 'Not Alone,' (PTSD) and 'The Greatest Father' (Satire)]    

PTSD Resources USA

Veterans Administration (VA) www.va.gov
Vet Center www.vetcenter.va.gov
VA National Center for PTSD (Excellent Resources and Info)  www.ptsd.va.gov/

VETERAN ORGANIZATIONS 

Veterans of Foreign www.vfw.org

American Legion www.legion.org 
AMVETS www.amvets.org 
Disabled American Veterans (DAV) www.dav.org
Iraq Afghanistan Veterans of America (IAVA) www.iava.org 
Iraq War Veterans Organization (IWVO) www.iraqwarveterans.org
Marine Corps League www.mcleague.org 
Military Order of the Purple Heart www.purpleheart.org
Paralyzed Veterans of America (PVA) www.pva.org 
Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) www.vfw.org 
Veterans of Modern Warfare www.modernveterans.com
Women Veterans of America www.womenveteransofamerica.com

PEER GROUPS

Vets4Vets http://www.vets4vets.us

Coalition for Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans www.coalitionforveterans.org 
America Supports You www.americasupportsyou.mil 
Black Military World www.blackmilitaryworld.com 
Journal of Military Experience www.militaryexperience.org

Coming Home Project www.cominghomeproject.net
Give an Hour www.giveanhour.org
Grace After Fire www.graceafterfire.org
Helmets to Hardhats www.helmetstohardhats.org 
Hire Heroes USA www.hireheroesusa.org
Marine Parents www.marineparents.com
Military.com www.military.com 
Military One Source www.militaryonesource.com
National Veterans Foundation www.nvf.org 
Operation Homefront Operation Vets www.operationvets.org 
Patriot Guard Riders www.patriotguard.org 
Soldiers Angels www.soldiersangels.org 
Swords-to-Plowshares www.swords-to-plowshares.org 
T.A.P.S www.taps.org 
United We Serve www.unitedweservemil.org

Michele Rosenthal, HEAL MY PTSD, LLC www.healmyptsd.com

Wounded Warrior Project www.woundedwarriorproject.org

Salem-News Newsroom <newsroom@salem-news.com>

VETSROCK  http://www.vetsrock.org Veteran charity to provide basic needs such as food and shelter to as many veterans in need as we can.

Military Order of the Purple Heart Service Foundation – http://www.mophsf.org

Veterans Vocational Technical Institute – http://www.vvti.org/

In addition to PTSD, Veterans should be aware of help they can receive for Mesothelioma Cancer at: http://www.mesotheliomasymptoms.com/ Mesothelioma is a very deadly form of cancer made up of four main types, which impact 2,000 to 3,000 Americans every year. The first form of this disease is pleural mesothelioma, which develops in the lining of the lungs. This cancer of the lungs can cause many serious side-effects, including hoarseness, shortness of breath, fluid buildup in the lungs, sharp chest pains, coughing up blood, a loss of muscle function, and extreme swelling. Pleural mesothelioma makes up for the highest percentage of mesothelioma cases.


 

Embracing the Writing Challenge by Oscar J. Starr III

Embracing the Writing Challenge with Oscar J. Starr III

Oscar J. Starr III, a renowned author known for his thought-provoking works on relationships, emotional intelligence, and societal issues, has recently introduced an exciting Writing Challenge. This initiative aims to inspire both budding and seasoned writers to explore their creativity and overcome common obstacles in their writing journey.

The Essence of the Writing Challenge

The Writing Challenge by Oscar J. Starr III is designed to push writers out of their comfort zones and encourage them to experiment with new styles and genres. Participants are invited to engage in a series of prompts and exercises that stimulate their imagination and help them discover their unique voice. The challenge is not just about producing content but also about understanding the deeper motivations behind writing and connecting with readers on a profound level.

Overcoming Writer’s Block

One of the key aspects of the Writing Challenge is addressing writer’s block, a common hurdle for many authors. Oscar shares his personal strategies for overcoming this obstacle, such as changing the writing environment, setting small and manageable goals, and engaging in free writing sessions. He emphasizes the importance of staying positive and persistent, reminding writers that writer’s block is a temporary hurdle that can be overcome with patience and perseverance.

Finding Inspiration

Oscar believes that motivation and inspiration are crucial components of successful writing. Through the Writing Challenge, he encourages participants to seek inspiration from various sources, including reading books, watching movies, and engaging in activities they enjoy. By sharing his own experiences and success stories, Oscar provides valuable insights into maintaining motivation and finding joy in the writing process2.

Building a Supportive Community

The Writing Challenge also aims to build a supportive community of writers who can share their work, provide feedback, and offer encouragement to one another. Oscar highlights the importance of seeking feedback and being open to constructive criticism, as it can provide new perspectives and help writers improve their craft. Joining a writing group or finding a trusted mentor can be incredibly beneficial in this journey.

Conclusion

Oscar J. Starr III’s Writing Challenge is more than just a series of writing exercises; it’s a transformative experience that helps writers explore their creativity, overcome obstacles, and connect with a community of like-minded individuals. Whether you’re a novice writer or an experienced author, this challenge offers valuable tools and insights to enhance your writing journey. Embrace the challenge and discover the joy and fulfillment that comes with expressing your unique voice through words.

For more information about Oscar J. Starr III and his works, visit his official website: oscarjstarriiipublishingauthor.godaddysites.com.



 

CRIME EXPOSED, A BUCK TAYLOR NOVEL BY CHUCK MORGAN

CRIME EXPOSED, A BUCK TAYLOR NOVEL

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Reviewed by Romuald Dzemo for Readers' Favorite

Crime Exposed: A Buck Taylor Novel by Chuck Morgan is the fourth entry in a riveting crime series. Buck Taylor is pulled into investigating the disappearance of a missing journalist, a case that eventually leads to murder and child pornography. The narrative starts in a very curious way, a powerful opening that piqued my sense of curiosity. We get a clear glimpse of the protagonist in the first line of the narration: “Jim McBride knew his wife was pissed... The sound of slamming doors that bombarded his ears indicated that whoever she was mad at would receive her full wrath. He was glad it wasn't him.” This strong opening already gives readers a hint of what to expect, and they are keen on discovering who Barb will turn out to be. But she disappears just after the first chapter and in a tragic kind of way that establishes the suspense and the irony that drives the narrative.

Chuck Morgan has a unique gift for plot, one that makes Crime Exposed: A Buck Taylor Novel a hard-to-put-down book. From the start, readers know what happens to Barb, but they become curious as they follow the investigation, wondering if the characters will find out what happened to her. The descriptions are filled with clarity and they offer readers great images. The prose is elegant and it captures both the emotional and psychological elements of the novel clearly while offering vivid descriptions of scenes and characters. This is a fast-paced thriller with memorable characters and a criminal investigation that is so real readers will believe it could happen.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Reviewed by K.C. Finn for Readers' Favorite

Crime Exposed is a work of exciting criminal fiction penned by author Chuck Morgan and is the fourth novel featuring Agent Buck Taylor and his investigative team. Following the events of Crime Unsolved, we find Buck ready for a new challenge despite all that he’s been through thus far. When a journalist goes missing, Buck and the team begin a series of questions, interviews and following clues which will lead them to a much bigger scandal at work. Not only is a brutal murder evidenced, but far darker and depraved practices are going on that need to be exposed and stopped as soon as possible.

Written for adults due to its language, violence, and themes of child abuse, this is a compelling and thrilling work of crime fiction which can easily be read as a stand-alone if you’re not caught up on the current series. The dialogue is suitably gritty for the context, and author Chuck Morgan has a gift for conveying so much personality from his characters just by the way that they speak. Buck Taylor presents initially as a classic hero, capable and strong-minded, but we see his weaknesses unveiled as the case challenges him, and how he relies on the bonds between his teammates to get through it. There’s also plenty of danger, revelation, and suspense to keep the action fresh, with well-placed plot moments throughout the tale. Overall, Crime Exposed marks an excellent addition to a well written series and is a highly recommended crime novel.

COMING SOON

HORRIBLE NATURAL DISASTER, OR MAN-MADE CATASTROPHE?

The picturesque Glenwood Canyon in Colorado has been a source of awe and inspiration for tourists and locals alike. But now, it has become a scene of chaos and destruction. The highway through the canyon, known for its engineering marvel, has been obliterated by a massive landslide, causing the Colorado River to be blocked. As the disaster unfolds, one question lingers in everyone's mind - was this a natural disaster or a man-made catastrophe?

Colorado Bureau of Investigation Agent Buck Taylor is determined to find the answer. But when a geologist is found murdered and another's wife meets a brutal death, Buck realizes that there may be more to this case than meets the eye. As he delves deeper into the investigation, he uncovers a web of secrets and lies involving a wealthy local family with a rich history. And as the body count rises, it becomes clear that someone is willing to do anything to keep the truth hidden.

Just when Buck thinks he's getting closer to the truth, an eco-terrorist group claims responsibility for the landslide, throwing the case in a whole new direction. With the harsh Colorado winter fast approaching, Buck and his team race against time to unravel the mystery before it's too late. But little do they know; the end of the road may bring about a disaster that hits closer to home.

 https://chuckmorganbooks.com

https://payhip.com/chuckmorganauthor

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SMTMZX2/

  

 

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