‘Untried’ Crime
That day as Dhruva was away with Shakeel and was not expected till late in the night, Radha began scanning Mithya's closets to delve deeper into her past. Not finding any sleazy stuff therein, as she was about to give up on spying, she located a false bottom in the dressing table that led her to many unusual items. Elated at the discovery as she rummaged the shelf, she found Mithya's jottings in a leather-bound book, leafing through which, she came across a story-like entry, Untried Crime, which read thus:
That was when Mithya's life was under siege; she faced the unwelcome prospect of divorce, lo, owing to her own infidelity. Barely turned twenty-eight, as she was not for losing the good things of life her well-heeled man afforded her, she began planning a perfect murder of him and her paramour. So, leaving no lose ends for the cops to tie her up to the killings, she made discreet enquiries about the Inspector of the Saifabad Police Station, the one most likely to turn up for questioning her. What with his reputation as an Ace of Crime Detection increasing her sense of challenge, she spied upon him in a burka, and finding him manly and handsome, she fell for him. So, she kept track of him, and struck by his élan and enamored of his mien, she even turned covetous, which give an erotic edge to her criminal cunning.
That night, after seeing the end of both her men and having anonymously alerted the police about the double murder, she expectantly waited for Dhruva to turn up at her
bungalow, the gates of which she deliberately kept ajar, and when he knocked at the main door, she received him in lingerie.
"Sorry for my rather scanty cladding," she said alluringly.
"I'm Inspector Dhruva," he said unable to take his eyes off her hourglass frame.
"I'm Mithya," she said coquettishly, extending her hand invitingly.
"Mrs. Ashok I suppose," he said, grabbing it greedily.
"Yes, I'm Mithya Ashok," she said leading him into the drawing room.
"Do you know the whereabouts of your husband?" he asked looking into her eyes.
"Why, he's aboard the Godavari Express," she said affecting concern.
"Are you sure about that?"
"You know I'm his wife, don't you?"
"Can't there be secrets between the spouses?"
"Have you come to know of any mistress of his or what?" she said mockingly.
"Maybe he would've been better off in her bed, if he had any but...."
"You mean, better off than in mine?" she said interrupting him
"I've to get into both to know about that," he said naughtily, "but sadly he's no more."
"In that case, can't you imagine the possibilities?" she said winking at him.
"It's no joke, he was possibly murdered," he said observing her demeanor.
"You mean, in the running train!"
"No, it's in your A.C Guards' house."
"Wonder how he landed there!" she said feigning surprise. "But who could have killed him?"
"Who's Dilip?"
"Has he killed him?"
"Better answer my question."
"He's my errand boy, don't mind his age," she said smilingly.
"Is that all?"
"I know privacy is the first victim in crime investigation, don't I?" she said coquettishly.
"Don't mistake me, it's a routine question."
"Well, to tell you the truth, I am carrying on with him."
"But I don't think he's of your class."
"Why that should bother you at all?"
"Sorry but surely your man would've been concerned about that."
"You are spot on," she said taking his hand. "Know that I offered to divorce him."
"Are you in love with Dilip?"
"Didn't you hear me say that I am carrying on with him?"
"When did you last see him?"
"I was with him till ten."
"Where it was?"
"Where Ashok was murdered that is going by your statement."
"You mean that you three were there."
"Are you implying a threesome or what?" she said laughingly.
"You know I am not privy to your sexual proclivities," he said not to be outplayed at his favorite game.
"Given a chance, I won't withhold any from you," she said not to be undone.
"You may keep that on hold and..."
"If you put me on hold, I can hang on in hope," she said turning bold.
"Maybe by the rope," he said mocking sympathy.
"Don't worry on that count," she said nonchalantly.
"Misplaced though, your confidence is admirable," he said unable to hide his admiration.
"Cerebral though isn't it a misplaced compliment," she said coyly adjusting her lingerie.
"Could be but how Ashok was in the wrong place?"
"How am I to know that?"
"Maybe you could guess."
"I've no clue on earth."
"What if Dilip too is dead."
"Oh God, did they kill each other?"
"I haven't said Dilip was dead," he said and as she was startled a little, he added, "didn't you give away the clue to the case?"
"Brush up your grammar boy, it was but my question," she said recovering.
"Then, 'yes' is my answer," he said bowled by her smartness.
"So, I've lost my man and my paramour at once."
"What a double jeopardy it is, I'm really sorry."
"Why be sorry dear as I'm doubly free," she said taking his hand.
"I guess you've some way to go before that," he said holding it.
"Going by your demeanor, I don't think so," she said squeezing his hand.
"Why not follow me there?"
"Can't you spare me all that now?"
"So be it but don't fail to turn up at the mortuary tomorrow."
"Where it is?"
"Sorry for the slip, it's at the Gandhi Hospital."
"Don't I see you're enamored," she said winking at him.
"I will wait for you there by ten in the morning," he said in embarrassment.
"Thank you for being a considerate cop," she said taking his hand all again.
"Maybe you could've revealed more," he said enjoying the touch.
"How unfair to say that without giving me scope?" she said feigning to be offended.
"You're impossible ma'am; good night."
"Sweet dreams," she said adjusting her lingerie to part-bare her boob.
While she waved at him amorously, perplexed at her audacity and perturbed by his attraction, he left her half-heartedly.
'Stabbed in the abdomen, as Ashok lay dead in the sofa, how it was that Dilip's medulla oblongata had hit the edge of the chair opposite?' Dhruva began reviewing the murder scene on his way home. 'Won't the empty Bagpiper bottle, broken glasses, and the scattered bhujiya indicate a drinking brawl, possibly over Mithya that led to their killing each other? But is it as simple as that? Was there Mithya's hidden hand behind all that? Why not take her finger prints?'
The next day as Mithya reached the mortuary, Dhruva obliged her to leave her finger prints, having which, he was lost in the elegance of her slender fingers that was not lost on her either; so, pleased with herself she turned coquettish and said how she wished that he would let her put them for better use in time. Distracted though by her seductive manner, yet he was able to discern that her demeanor turned cold as she saw Dilip's body, and that she looked contemptuously at Ashok's corpse, which made him think that she had no love lost for either of them. Moreover, when he noticed the steadiness of her hand as she recorded her statement and the coolness in her face as she was all set to take away Ashok's body in the ambulance, he felt that she had the nerve of a killer. If anything, when she told enticingly that she knew he would visit her again in vardi but he was welcome even in mufti, he was amazed as well as irritated by her audacity. But while getting into her sedan that followed the ambulance as she winked at him invitingly, seeing in her a femme fatale of the first order, he waved her off wondering whether she was the murderess after all; and as if to chase his thoughts, leaving the chores of handling Dilip's body to Appa Rao his deputy, he headed straight to the forensic laboratory.
The post-mortem report confirmed the instantaneous deaths of both men and Mithya's fingerprints were found all over the place and that put Dhruva in the contemplative mode.
'Stabbed in the abdomen by Dilip if Ashok died instantaneously, how he could have pushed away Dilip with such a force that his medulla oblongata took the hit?' he began to analyze. 'Even if Ashok had extraordinary reflexes to push away Dilip upon being attacked, the latter's grip on the knife would have ensured that it was pulled out of his frame, which was not the case. So, as Dilip couldn't have died being pushed by Ashok for he died instantaneously after being stabbed; were it possible that Mithya murdered Dilip in cold blood after abetting him to stab Ashok to death? Was not the informer too an anonymous woman! Was it all Mithya's handiwork then?'
Soon after Ashok's obsequies were over, Dhruva called on Mithya at 9, Castle Hills.
"What brings you here dear?" she greeted him heartily.
"Why can't you guess?"
"Where the need as your urgency shows?" she said winking at him.
"You are mistaken," he said, hiding his embarrassment.
"Oh! I thought you are a game," she said, feigning disappointment.
"You may know that custodial interrogation is a different ball game," he said assuming a grave demeanor.
"Then you have to go to hell to interrogate both of them?" she said smilingly, ushering him into her house.
"Not a bad idea if a femme fatale can lead me there."
"If you think I'm one, I would lead you to heaven instead," she said enticingly.
"Tempting though...,"
"What's the hesitation then?" she said moving closer.
"Thanks to your finger prints on the murder weapon, I have to lead you to the lock-up," he said dramatically taking her hand.
"What a discovery!" she said without taking her hand out of his. "Well, it was I who prepared the salad besides mixing drinks for Dilip and me. Wonder how you had missed my finger prints on the Bagpiper bottle and those two glasses."
"Whither gone the third glass?" he said releasing her hand.
"I haven't heard of two drinking out of three glasses, have you?" she said smilingly.
"But Ashok's viscera showed that he too drank."
"Don't you see that scoring for me as it clearly indicates that they quarreled to death after drinking to the dregs," she said triumphantly.
"When Ashok died readily, who could've killed Dilip?" he said with a probing look.
"I know Ashok has quick reflexes, possibly he might've pushed away Dilip before he died," she said with a poker face.
"Why wouldn't have Dilip pulled out the knife when pushed?"
"It's puzzling isn't it?" she said smilingly.
"What if someone was there to ensure that both died?"
"Eminently possible, but don't you think it's too thin a thread to hang me with?" she said mockingly.
"Could the criminal and the informer be the same?"
"We could discuss all that and more if you stay on for dinner," she said invitingly, taking his hand.
"Not now, maybe some other time," he said making a move.
"You may know that you're always welcome," she said pressing his hand.
"Looks like you're a tough nut to crack," he said pressing her hand.
"Oh!' she feigned pain.
"I'm sorry," he said releasing her hand.
"Why, isn't it precious to hold?" she said extending her hand enticingly.
"That's what is disturbing," he said waving her goodbye.
"That's the charm of life," she said, blowing a kiss at him.
Bowled though by her charms, as her daredevilry affronted his professional ego, hell-bent on pinning her down, he reviewed the case for possible loopholes, and finding none, he thought that he should play ball with her in her own court.
That evening when Dhruva reached 9, Castle Hills in mufti, Mithya in light pink voile sari, was in the lawns with Dicey, her new acquisition, and having greeted him heartily, she warmly led him into the drawing room to flirt with him openly. Soon, as they had a binge of booze sitting together in that wide sofa, finding her at her evocative best, he realized how vulnerable he was to her peculiar persona. But as he remained tentative, teasing him at his unease, before cozying up to him by drawing closer to him, she revealed her riveting allures by degrees, and unable to resist her charms, as he conceded his erotic ground to her, she induced him to lay the foundations for an amorous edifice through necking and petting.
When she proposed dinner to let them satiate their palates as a prelude to satiating their libidos, following her to the dining table, as he took to bottom pinching, she said coyly that she wouldn't be granting him an out-of-turn favor. Saying that he would wait for its turn, yet as he busied himself at her bottom, she said that he could have his way both ways but as per protocol. After a hearty meal followed by pan, she led her into the lawn to let him puff away at his cigar, as she enjoyed its aroma, and as he stubbed the butt, hugging him ardently and reaching for his lips, she kissed him fervently, inducing in him the urge to surge in. Thereby, leading him indoors, she stripped him in the drawing room and pulled him into the bedroom only to push him onto her sprawling mahogany bed for their erotic exertions.
At length, lying in his arms in satisfaction, she opened her secretive mind to him.
"I know what brought you into my bed, and as quid pro quo, I'll satisfy your curiosity," she said coyly. "It was Dilip's idea to eliminate Ashok and I went along with it, not to acquire a rich widow tag, but to avoid the divorcee card. With inputs from Dilip, I worked out a plan to slow-poison Ashok, as and when he embarked on a journey by train and as I was all set, it dawned on me that in all suspicious deaths, the spouse would readily come under the scanner, so I realized that to save my skin, I should get rid of Dilip as well. Moreover, eager to step into Ashok's shoes, Dilip was getting too big for his boots, and to give a spin to Ashok's death, before arranging that fateful meeting to untangle the love triangle, I booked a berth for him on the Godavari Express. The rest as you know is mystery."
"Isn't it a loss to the crime history?" he said fondling her.
"Why not we together create history," she said invitingly. "It's my curiosity to measure up the cop who would turn up for my questioning that made me appraise you on the sly; even as your looks surged my sexual passion, your manner induced a sense of belonging in me. Believe me; my urge to make a new beginning with you fuelled my desire to be freed of both of them even more; that way, my man, you are an abettor of the crime. Whatever, in the wake of the murders, breathing down my neck, you've charmed me with your mind as well, and now with your lovemaking, you've increased my craving for being your wife. You know, all this is for your ears only and not for my trial for sure; try acting funny and you stand accused - of torture and rape - haven't you left enough evidence behind – on both counts."
"What to make of you?" he said in exasperated admiration.
"Yours if you please," she winked at him.
"What if I let you loose," he said contemplatively.
"Why not enslave me."
"That's resisting the irresistible."
"If you can ignore my past, I won't let you regret making me your wife, it's my promise," she said pleadingly taking him in her embrace.
"I know your value to my life but let me think it over," he said disarmingly.
"Won't you come tomorrow?" she said reaching for his lips.
"You haven't left me as yet," he said.
When he reached for his dress after she released him, she pulled out the tape recorder from his pocket.
"Let this be my keepsake of our first-time," she said dangling it before him.
"Oh, you are impossible!" he said taking her into his arms.
However, after the dust has settled down, he led me into our marvelous wedlock.
Amazed at what she read, Radha thought that Mithya could have been a temptress in the Cleopatra mold and wondered what would have happened had she poisoned her men.
This is the excerpt of the eponymous chapter of 'Prey on the Prowl - A Crime Novel' a free ebook in the public domain.
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Deepening Your Personal Relationships: Developing Emotional Intimacy and Good Communication
Deepening Your Personal Relationships: Developing Emotional Intimacy and Good Communication
(ISBN: 978-1-61897-590-4)
Looking for Better Relationships? Let the Experts Tell You How!
Deepening Your Personal Relationships was written by three experts in the field. Their combined expertise will help you in Developing Emotional Intimacy and Good Communication, which will be beneficial in all types of relationships.
Everyone wants to improve and deepen their relationships. The book explains how to achieve healthy and fulfilling interpersonal relationships by using effective communication, empathy, shared transformational development, and constructive conflict resolution to achieve this aim. Deepening Your Personal Relationships provides original, meaningful, and transformational insights that are especially helpful in understanding how to overcome our subconscious resistance against emotional intimacy and good communication. The goal is to understand how good relationships can produce enhanced levels of spiritual development, psychological healing, self-understanding, creative functioning, inner peace, happiness, and ultimately, fulfillment in life. A section on improving society through enhancing interpersonal relationships is also included.
Thus, readers wanting to enhance their personal relationships, gain insight into transformational self-help, and achieve social transformation will find this book especially helpful. The authors anticipate that this book will also be of keen interest to professional relationship counselors, including marriage counselors, family counselors, and conflict mediators, as well as community organizers and social activists.
Targeted Age Group:: Adults and Teens
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
We were inspired to write this book as a way of helping readers understand how to develop psychologically healthy, fulfilling interpersonal relationships, with true love, good communication (i.e., open, honest, direct/non-evasive, nonjudgmental/non-blaming, respectful, communication). Another related goal was to help readers understand and overcome the ego’s fearful, narcissistic, attempt to undermine the development of experiential closeness or caring intimacy in relationships. Furthermore, we sought to alert readers to how good relationships can contribute to the development of greater levels of psychological wellbeing, genuine self-understanding, and spiritual awakening. We authors are deeply saddened to see many potentially beautiful and happy relationships fail because of the lack of public understanding of psychological factors that can facilitate or impede the development of true love, experiential intimacy, and good communication; and that is the primary reason why we feel a responsibility to make our combined insights available to the public.
Book Sample
Excerpt from the Introduction of the Book:
Some of the basic components of a real, lasting relationship that will be discussed more extensively in this book (especially a more detailed description of the basic components in chapter 1) are summarized as follows:
1) Relating to the person and not the persona. One is in a real relationship with another individual to the degree that one relates to what is actually experientially real in the other person, from moment to moment, rather than relating to what the other individual offers up as a self-concept, or to the concepts, images, and presumptive interpretations that we project or superimpose upon the other. In addition, one must offer up to the other what is experientially real in himself or herself, rather than offering some idealized conceptual self-definition, or predetermined psychosocial mask, with which one is identified.
2) Growth-oriented rather than object-oriented: An optimal real relationship offers opportunities for transformational developmental growth of liberating new insight, leading to more fulfilling ways of functioning, or living, rather than being locked into predetermined ways of relating and functioning, as well as holding predetermined views of oneself, the other person, and the relationship itself. Openness to liberating new insights can significantly enhance the functioning of each of the individuals in the relationship, as well as enhance the functioning of the relationship itself, arousing what is most creatively empowering, productive, revealing, constructive, vibrantly alive, healing, transformational, and spontaneous in each individual, as well as in their relationship. Later in this book, we will also discuss how a pseudo-relationship, egoistic relationship, or object relationship is devoted to making an object of the other person, meaning the person views the other as a defined interpretive label and controlled possession, or an “It,” in Martin Buber’s terminology (reference note 3), rather than empathically tuning into their living energy presence and experiential states, or what Buber calls the “Thou,” and valuing the other individual and one’s relationship with them for its own sake, primarily, rather than just valuing them for the sake of some kind of egoistic gratification that they are expected to provide. That kind of predetermined, controlling way of relating to another individual restricts rather than enhances the transformational growth of each individual, and of the relationship itself, in contrast to relationships in which greater levels of openness, flexibility, insight, and creative transformation exist. When the other person relates to you with what is experientially real in themselves, it will naturally trigger in you a spontaneous experiential reaction, which if observed non-dualistically and non-judgmentally will yield creative self-understanding, (reference note 4), which in turn will serve as the basis of transformation into more fulfilling levels of psychological functioning, or psychological growth. (We are using the terms “creative self-understanding” and “genuine understanding of others” to refer to insights that come from direct experience and from openness to the deepest core of one’s own being–unrestricted and undistorted by any preconceived interpretive presumptions). In contrast to a growth-oriented relationship, an object relationship exists if one relates primarily not to the whole person, but rather, to the particular aspect of another person that one can exploit for one’s own gratification. In such a relationship, there is an attempt to prevent the other person from outgrowing old habits and growing in real self-understanding and self-transformation because that prevention of growth guarantees that one will not lose the particular aspect of the other individual that one is using for self-gratification. For example, a dependent person makes you feel strong, so you do not want her to outgrow her dependency.
3) Unconditional acceptance of the whole person: One is open to and non-judgmentally accepting of the whole of the other person, and not just focusing selectively upon whatever partial aspects of them relate to one’s own perceived need for gratification. Unless you are first able to accept yourself unconditionally, you are not free to accept the other person unconditionally, and be in a real relationship with them. For example, if you label yourself as weak and insecure, and you seek to compensate for those traits through the relationship, you will look for and accept only strength and security in the other individual, and reject all other contradictory traits.
True love is not selective, not a positive value judgment, not a conditional intense favorable valuing, an extreme approval, a conditional acceptance, of preferred or desired partial aspects of the other individual, but, rather, love is an unconditional acceptance of and appreciative empathic attunement to the whole other person, including their indivisible whole life energy presence, and all of its natural expressions and genuine experiential aspects. The whole of the other person is perfect to us, or beyond conditional approval and disapproval, but not perfect as an idealized image of unrealistic infatuation projected onto the other individual, conditionally value judged extremely positively, or extremely favorably, for partial aspects of him or herself that conform to our own selective preferences, expectations, needs, and fantasies; instead, the beloved is unconditionally accepted as being of absolute value as a living energy presence. When we truly love someone, we do not conditionally value them only when they conform to our own selective needs, expectations, needs, and fantasies; instead, the beloved is unconditionally accepted as being of absolute value as a living energy presence.
To truly love someone is to relate to, appreciate, and cherish what is actually, naturally real in them, rather than projecting imaginary idealized images and valuing that in them. We intuitively recognize that the beloved simply feels right for us, they simply belong with us, their energy presence feels like a naturally compatible “good fit” with ours. We intuitively recognize a deep sense of mutual inner familiarity with the distinctive life energy presence of the other individual, so our love or caring is not dependent or conditional upon the other individual conforming to some kind of idealized image of perfection, demanding expectations, or preconceived roles. That intuited sense of natural relatedness of being, inherent belonging, or inner familiarity enables individuals to remain unselfishly devoted to one another and to unconditionally remain together “for better or for worse,” as suggested by the traditional marriage vow, but also applicable to other kinds of non-marital caring relationships.
True love is enduring, not temporary, for it is not dependent upon any conditional reason (there is no “I love you because….”); it is not conditional, because our intuitive recognition of natural relatedness of being or inner familiarity does not depend on changing circumstances or upon altering or distorting the other person’s natural real being, experience, and expressions. True love is free of conditional valuing based on self-seeking motives, so our love does not depend on, or is not conditional upon, having the beloved provide us with intense feelings of excitation and gratification (be they sexual, sensual, intellectual, emotional, entertaining, financial, etc.). We love the other person for their own sake, and are contented to relate to what is actually experientially real and spontaneously natural in them, regardless of whether they gratify particular needs, ideals, fantasies, and expectations that we may value.
True love is sufficient unto itself, and therefore unconditional, because it is fully satisfying to the core of our being, even if it does not satisfy the ego’s conditional expectations and needs. True love can be unconditional and without excessive self-seeking motives because it arises from an intuited sense of contentment, relaxed security, and inner wholeness of being, in contrast to relationships focusing on seeking gratification of insatiable, often unreasonable, impatient, intensely demanding needs arising from the ego’s basic sense of deficiency, discontent, or lack of intrinsic wholeness, security, and wellbeing.
Because love is the essential core of life energy, it is the one basic comprehensive passion, which subsumes all of the natural constructive wholesome passions of life within itself. Perhaps all, or most, hungers, appetites, yearnings, or aspirations, are ultimately derived from, and satisfied by, the natural hunger to experience the connective energy of loving warmth in the core of the heart, as an optimal experience of wholeness, security, sweetness, beauty, grandeur, charm (wonder-full enchantment), and joyful vitality.
True love unconditionally accepts, warmly embraces, and cherishes, all that is truly real and natural in the beloved, because true joy, vitality, and beauty is found only in what is real and natural, and cannot be found in any kind of imaginary ideal or preconceived demanding expectation, which only imitates the true goodness of life energy, like a lifeless statue, doll, idol, photo, or portrait. The true goodness of the relational reality of life as love can be found, contacted, experienced only when we are contented to contact the immediacy or undefinable mystery of another person’s undivided whole being without superimposing any preconceived agendas of the controlling, selective, distorting, manipulative, ego-mind.
4) No Manipulation. Manipulation converts the other person into an object for your own exploitation. Manipulation can be overt, viewing relationships as forms of combat, such as, battles to be won and objects or possessions to be manipulated, maneuvered, managed, controlled, which affirms the ego’s power to control, as an illusory sense of security. Subtle forms of manipulation can involve insisting on tangible signs and symbols of love, as a way of enhancing the ego’s fragile sense of self-esteem and emotional security, rather than developing the ability to directly, intuitively, empathically experience another individual’s love for oneself, without demanding such tangible signs and symbols as “proof.”
5) Communication and Understanding: A Real relationship requires a sense of existential relatedness, inner connection, or shared experience, derived from a mutual understanding between the two individuals, at any given moment. This understanding involves a process of empathic communion, producing immediate, non-presumptively mediated, experiential knowledge of the other individual. True understanding is possible only when communication is open, honest, nonjudgmental, non-evasive, and unimpaired.
6) Commitment: For a real relationship to exist, or to develop, there must be a commitment to unconditional acceptance of what is naturally real in the other individual, without necessarily condoning inappropriate attitudes and non-constructive behaviors that are not intrinsic to the other individual’s natural being, but rather, acquired or learned patterns. Commitment involves being devoted to the constructive developmental growth and wellbeing of the other person, and to openness and honesty in communication even when it might possibly result in emotional pain, discomfort, or constructive conflict in the relationship.
7) Investment: Investment involves a mutual reaching out to the other person for contact. Each individual must go outside oneself and give of oneself to the other, and not expect the other to go the whole way in bridging the psychological gap between the two. The investment is like a seed that we plant in the other individual, and permit the other to plant in us, with the hope that the other will nourish it with the warmth of their caring so that one day it will grow and blossom into a flower of fulfillment. The one in whom we invest is the one we entrust with our most fragile self, and we risk that the other will shelter it so that there will be an opportunity for it to grow or be outgrown rather than being rejected or buried by us.
8) Compatibility of values. To accomplish deep mutual understanding and experiential intimacy, the two individuals must share a compatibility of values. Their primary value, that which they hold most dear, and are least likely to surrender, should be basically the same for the two, or at least compatible. Basic compatibility produces mutual empathic understanding of one another. Thus, the compatibility of basic values serves as the uniting force that connects the two individuals, although their more surface values differ. Even though, over the years, one or both individuals may grow psychologically, develop new interests and goals, or change in his or her bodily appearance, their sense of union or psychological connection is unaffected because it exists at a deeper level.
9) Respect. Without it, a relationship is object manipulation. Respect involves permitting the other to be a separate and whole person in her/his own right, rather than just an extension of you. Respect grants the other individual the natural right to have interests, goals, and needs of her/his own, apart from you. You recognize that the other individual is not your possession. You treat the other individual as an adult, as intrinsically equal to you in value and freedom, which means not taking the other individual for granted. Although this other person may always do certain things for you as an expression of caring, you should not come to expect those things to be done for you, and should never demand anything. Instead, recognize that all that the other person does for you comes out of caring, not obligation.
10) Empathy: This involves the ability and willingness to feel what the other person is feeling. It involves the ability to transcend one’s own psychological boundaries and to “stand in the other person’s shoes,” psychologically speaking, or to empathically tune into the other individual’s experiential frame of reference or view of reality. This involves the ability to perceive and experience the world, or particular situations and issues, as the other person does. Without it, one is not able to make full experiential contact with the other person, which is necessary to provide optimal understanding and experiential closeness.
11) Trust. Trust involves a relative state of assurance that if one leaves oneself vulnerable to the other individual, he/she will not take advantage of that state of vulnerability to inflict emotional pain on you. Trust implies accepting a degree of uncertainty. It involves a risk or a feeling of some degree of vulnerability. Without trust, a real relationship cannot survive, because you hold yourself back in terms of what you expose and give to the other individual.
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Psychological Healing Through Creative Self-Understanding and Self-Transformation
Buyer’s Guide: Psychological Healing Through Creative Self-Understanding and Self-Transformation by Max Hammer, Barry Hammer, Alan C. Butler
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Targeted Age Group: adults
Category: Personal Growth
Print book price range: $19.11-$28.50
eBook price range: $9.99-$9.99
About Psychological Healing Through Creative Self-Understanding and Self-Transformation:
Psychological Healing Through Creative Self-Understanding and Self-Transformation
Are you ready for psychological healing? This book is your liberating guide to psychological growth, including self-understanding, self-transformation, healing psychologically painful inner conflicts, as well as achieving psychological and spiritual fulfillment. Some aspects of psychological health and fulfillment clarified in this book include, authenticity, sincerity, integrity, creativity, intuition, empathy, inspiration, vitality, courage, strength of character, unselfish love (or warmhearted caring), emotional security, inner wholeness, and fulfillment.
Readers will discover a new understanding of effective psychotherapy, groundbreaking diagnostic psychological testing research, as well as the distinction between the ego self-concept, the experiential self, and the transpersonal self (the real self, the relational self, or the holistic self).
The authors deeply explored their own psychological pain and experiential truth to write this book, as a way of helping readers achieve greater self-understanding, fulfillment, and liberation from psychological pain. These principles of psychological self-understanding and healing self-transformation can also enhance the development of interpersonal relationships, as well as facilitate effective and fulfilling ways of living in society. Self-transformation at your fingertips!
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